Being an INFJ: My Personal Journey and What It Means

When I first heard about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), I was skeptical. How could a simple test capture something as intricate as me? But when I got my result—INFJ—it felt like a lightbulb moment. Suddenly, my experiences and tendencies finally made sense in a way they never had before.

What I didn’t realize at the time is that INFJs are considered one of the rarest MBTI types, making up only about 1–2% of the population. That definitely explained why I often felt different from the people around me. Below, I’ll walk you through my personal experiences, key INFJ traits, and some insights I’ve picked up along the way.

Discovering INFJ

The MBTI is a tool that sorts personalities into 16 different types based on preferences like Introversion (I) vs. Extraversion (E), Intuition (N) vs. Sensing (S), Feeling (F) vs. Thinking (T), and Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P). My result, INFJ, felt like someone had read my diary and published it online.

INFJs are known for their strong sense of empathy, their preference for deeper connections, and their need for alone time to recharge. It explained why I’d prefer a meaningful one-on-one conversation over mingling at a big party or why everyone’s mood in a room can affect me so deeply.

Here’s how each INFJ preference resonates with me:

  • Introverted (I): I recharge by spending time alone or with a small group of close friends.

  • Intuitive (N): I’m always looking for deeper meanings, patterns, or future possibilities.

  • Feeling (F): I rely heavily on empathy and personal values when making decisions.

  • Judging (J): I like structure, organization, and closure—give me a good plan, and I’m happy.

 

 If you’re curious about your own MBTI type, free tests are available on sites like 16Personalities or Truity.

Living with an INFJ Mindset

Growing up, I had a vivid imagination. I’d spend hours daydreaming about future projects, new adventures, or even imaginary worlds. This vivid imagination is deeply tied to the Intuition(N) aspect of being an INFJ. It’s like we’re hardwired to see possibilities and hidden meanings all around us. While this sparks creativity, it can also lead to overthinking. I often replay conversations in my head or worry about things that haven’t even happened yet.

As an introvert, alone time is essential for me to recharge. After a long day at work, I just want to curl up with my journal or a good show. Sometimes, people think I’m being distant, but in reality, I’m just processing my thoughts. If you’re an INFJ (or suspect you might be), don’t feel guilty about needing alone time—it’s how we refuel.

The cognitive functions that drive an INFJ’s thought process provide a more detailed understanding of how we navigate the world:

  1. Dominant – Introverted Intuition (Ni)

    • I often have “gut feelings” or visions of how things will unfold. Ni allows me to see patterns and future possibilities in a way that can seem almost psychic to others.

  2. Auxiliary – Extraverted Feeling (Fe)

    • I pick up on other people’s emotions quickly and want to make sure everyone’s okay. This can be a superpower for offering support but can also lead to emotional overload if I’m not careful.

  3. Tertiary – Introverted Thinking (Ti)

    • I like analyzing how things work behind the scenes. When I’m trying to solve a problem or figure out if an idea is valid, Ti helps me dissect it logically.

  4. Inferior – Extraverted Sensing (Se)

    • This is where I sometimes struggle. Being fully present in the here and now can be challenging because my mind is usually off in the future. But when I embrace Se (like going for a hike or practicing mindfulness), I feel more grounded and connected to reality.

 

Strengths and Challenges

Being an INFJ means living with a mix of strengths and struggles. Here are a few key ones:

Strengths

  • Empathy and Compassion: I can often sense when someone is feeling down, even if they haven’t said a word. Subtle changes in tone or body language rarely escape me.

  • Creativity and Visionary Thinking: My mind overflows with ideas for stories, projects, and ways to improve the world.

  • Moral Compass: I’m driven by a strong sense of fairness and justice, which inspires me to take action.

Challenges

  • Emotional Overload: Absorbing others’ emotions can leave me drained.

  • Perfectionism: I often set unrealistically high expectations for myself, leading to procrastination out of fear that a project won’t meet my standards.

  • Boundary-Setting: Saying ‘no’ is hard because I genuinely want to help, but I’m learning that protecting my energy is essential.

Relationships and Social Life

INFJs are known for looking for deep, meaningful connections. Small talk has never been my strong suit—I’d rather dive into real conversations about life, dreams, or social issues. While this can be awesome for making genuine friendships, it can also mean feeling out of place in casual group settings.

In high school, for example, I often felt like I was on the outside looking in. I liked having a few close friends to really bond with, instead of being part of a large clique. That preference has remained a constant in my life. Quality really does beat quantity, especially when you’re the type that invests so much emotion into friendships.

Tips to Thrive as an INFJ

Thriving as an INFJ means finding balance in a world that can feel overwhelming. The key is to focus on strategies that align with your unique personality traits and needs. Here are four strategies that have helped me:

  1. Develop Extraverted Sensing (Se):

    • Practice mindfulness: Take walks without your phone or try creative hobbies like painting.

    • Stay present: Focus on enjoying the moment instead of overthinking.

  2. Tame Perfectionism:

    • Set realistic goals: Break big tasks into smaller, manageable steps.

    • Embrace “good enough”: Progress matters more than perfection.

  3. Set Boundaries:

    • Learn to say “no” when necessary.

    • Create self-care rituals: Journaling, meditation, or quiet time can help recharge your energy.

  4. Manage Stress:

    • Relaxation techniques: Breathing exercises or yoga can help.

    • Build a support system: Friends, family, or online INFJ communities can provide emotional relief.

Final Thoughts

Being an INFJ can sometimes feel lonely, but it’s also a really special way of seeing the world. We notice subtle details others might miss, we care deeply about the people around us, and we have the ability to dream big. If any of this sounds like you, remember you’re not alone—even if it’s only 1–2% of the population who share this type.

If you’d like to explore more about INFJs, check out personality forums, read books on introversion, or connect with others online. There’s a whole community of people who feel just as deeply and think just as much about life as you do.

Thanks for reading—and if you relate to the INFJ experience, feel free to share it! I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. What part of being INFJ do you find most challenging, and what do you appreciate about it?